Experiencing a crowded flight with a chatterbox, a seat kicker, or someone cranking up tunes without headphones is all too familiar. It’s a situation where the importance of etiquette becomes strikingly clear—especially when you’re soaring through the skies at 30,000 feet. However, flight attendants have revealed that a surprising number of travelers regularly violate the unwritten rules of airplane decorum, often without even being aware of it.
In a candid conversation with seasoned flight attendants, we gleaned their top gripes, the most frequent etiquette missteps, and the little courtesies that can significantly enhance the journey for everyone aboard.
Several flight attendants emphasized a straightforward action that could greatly improve the experience: remove your headphones. “It’s exasperating when you have to repeat your instructions three times to the passenger who stubbornly keeps them on,” explains Ally Murphy, a former flight attendant and host of The Red Eye Podcast. “It comes across as impolite and it hampers the flow of service.”
Jenn Lujan, a flight attendant with Alaska Airlines, chimes in: “During drink service, put your phone down and make eye contact when you order. The words ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are always appreciated.”
Although reclining your seat is technically permissible, the manner in which you do so is crucial. “The most common etiquette blunder I witness is reclining without notifying the passenger behind,” Murphy points out. “Or getting upset with the person in front for reclining. Seats are designed to recline!”
Nonetheless, Murphy advises giving a heads-up or reclining slowly. “We’re all confined in a metal cylinder hurtling through the sky. Take a moment to breathe and remember: we’re all just trying to reach our destinations.”
During boarding, the greatest kindness you can offer is to keep the line moving. “Passengers who pause to unpack or rearrange their belongings in the aisle hold up everyone behind them,” says Ally Case, a flight attendant for a prominent U.S. airline. “Just step into your row, quickly store your bag, and settle once seated.”
Case also cautions against placing your luggage in bins far from your seat. “Putting your bag in the front bin when you’re seated in the back creates a ripple effect and slows down the boarding process for everyone.”
In a confined space like an airplane, respecting others’ personal space is paramount. Case highlights common transgressions such as loud speakerphone calls during boarding, watching videos without headphones, or consuming particularly pungent food. “Reheated fish or garlic-infused leftovers in a pressurized cabin? That odor is not going to vanish.”
Personal grooming can also be a frequent point of contention. “Nail clipping, hair brushing, or an elaborate skincare routine—those are absolute no-nos,” Case asserts. “Self-care is wonderful, but the plane is not your spa.”
And don’t forget to manage your volume. “No matter your age, if you’re watching something on your device, use headphones,” Lujan advises. “Most airlines have a policy requiring them.”
While small talk can be delightful, it’s not always welcomed. “Your seatmate might be traveling to a funeral, dealing with a difficult situation, or merely anxious about flying,” Case observes. “Always consider the situation before initiating a conversation.”
When it’s time to disembark, there’s a systematic process to follow. “The etiquette for deplaning is to proceed row by row, from the front to the back,” Lujan reminds. Avoid the temptation to rush into the aisle as soon as the seatbelt sign is turned off, especially if you’re in the 22nd row.
In conclusion, the golden rule applies—be considerate and kind to both crew members and fellow passengers. Even the smallest gestures can make a significant difference. “Every smile you offer to the crew makes us feel a little more valued,” Murphy explains. “We’re here to serve, but we’re also trained to handle medical emergencies and keep you safe.”
